We put Boo to sleep last Wednesday. Over the last few years, he had developed some sort of spinal cord issue which was causing him to lose control of his back legs. Initially, it made him walk slowly and lose control of his back legs. But in the past few months, he’d begun falling regularly and was getting sores on his stomach and back legs from the falls and being in one position so long. He had a hard time maneuvering around the house, and there was no hope of a cure.
It was still a hard decision for us to make and even harder to carry out. We brought Boo into the vet on one of his favorite beds covered in blankets, and we were able to feed him turkey dogs as the initial sedative kicked in. As he grew more and more tired, he laid down in his bed and made his happy grunting noise. He seemed content and at peace, which isn’t how he usually is at the vet. After about 15 minutes, the vet came back and gave him a sedative to stop his heart. We stayed with him for a while after.
My hardest moment was leaving him behind. I couldn’t bring myself to move him from his bed and blanket. As we walked out, I asked the assistant at the front desk if we could pick them up later, but she immediately went to go get them for us. I wanted to stop her and tell her that he needed them. He might get cold. It was just so hard to imagine him laying on the cold floor or the metal exam table without something soft and familiar around him. I tear up even as I think about it now.
Boo was always so full of life. Ready to go anywhere. Ready for an adventure. Wanting to be with us. He was with me through so much that it’s hard to believe he isn’t here anymore. I got him when I was only 18. He traveled with me to Washington as I finished college and got my first full time job. Then he went with us across the country to Boston where I went to grad school. He saw both oceans and flew on a plane.
As far as dogs go, I like to think that he had it pretty good. Still it almost feels selfish that I’m not cleaning up after him anymore. Or helping him onto the sofa. I had to hide his food dish in the far back of the cabinet because I can’t help but automatically go to feed him first. I’ve been doing it for so long.
I come home to five dogs. Five really great dogs. But Boo will always be my first. My companion through some pretty volatile years. And it’s going to be a while before I can think of him without shedding a tear and wishing that he was still romping around like he used to.






























