Aquarius

There is only one horoscope that I will even remotely consider reading, and it's Freewill Astrology. I just had to laugh at this week's:

Spankings can raise your intelligence, reports The Weekly World News. Experiments by the Lucerne Institute of Psychological Research showed that college students did better on their exams after having their buns whacked. Increased adrenalin flow may have contributed to this surprising phenomenon, the psychologists speculated. "The adrenalin combined with the endorphins generated to minimize the pain, and together they opened up previously underutilized neural pathways--turning them into IQ hyperlinks," said one researcher. I bring this up, Libra, because you've got a big life test coming up. If I were you, I'd be willing to try innovative measures to make sure you ace it, including maybe even having a ping-pong paddle administered to your backside. The preparations that helped you through rites of passage in the past may not work this time.

I sure hope Brian doesn't read this or I will be in trouble.